Fairy Tales

I can’t allow my foolish mindto rely on silly fairy tales

of those that men may cast

they will hurt just like my past

I can’t for one second waste my mind

by letting it roam free

on stupid little fantasies

they’re curses all around me

Won’t let my mind give in

to all these dreams haunting me

it’ll cause a paradox within

these stone walls that I have built

only to bring them crashing down

all around my feet

leaving no places to hide

my chaotic thoughts away from me


I just can’t give in

to my selfish dreams

that your fairy tales

make me believe

I can’t let go

of my boundaries you see

that is all that is left to keep me being me


Once this castle had no walls

like the ones you are trying to climb

it was open to the world

when I was just a girl

then a man showed up one day

with empty promises to sweep me off my feet

but his heart was filled with greed

and this man was really a thief

and he hurt me so bad

by stealing my innocence in my sleep

leaving nothing left of me

and upon awakening from his wicked spell

the man had come and gone and

he had destroyed what was inside

making my heart no longer mine.


So I built these walls

to hold out all my danger

that uprooted from my anger

so when I need to hide

all I do is go inside

my castle walls sit down and cry

the solitude keeps me alive


Promises and fairy tales

they never will come true

men are all just theives

only around to steal what they want and need

so that is why this iron curtain

is where I’m forced to hide

cause thieves connive and steal

thats why fairy tales aren’t real.



falling in between the cracks

of what was there and then

and what things might have been

it feels like i have been falling

for a very long long time

i just want to feel the pain

of hitting pavement

and in my own blood i drown


let it crawl out and fall in

this is where the madness begins

its like being stabbed with a thousand knives

just to bleed out til my body’s dry

and its time to face the truth

i can’t bleed anymore for you


I was drowning when i met you

i thought you could make me see

how life could be more meaningful

but all you did was abuse me

now when i lay awake at night

wishing things weren’t this way

will you kiss me goodnight one more time

before the lightness fades away?


why do i run to you

when you don’t care

why do i wait for you

when you stand me up

by not being there


Fall on in and crawl out

of the pain of losing you

there’s nothing better in this world

than trying to forget you

but your thoughts leech on into me

as if it was sucking out my blood

and the madness returns to me

cause what we had was lust

now its time to face the truth

I won’t bleed anymore for you


I can’t bleed anymore of whats left of me

you wont take anymore of me


I was bleeding out from cuts inside

you just left me there to die

stealing my life

and all thats whats left behind

is the painfull memories you left

and the body lays out to dry

you can’t take anymore

of what you left behind


my soul is mine

you can’t take anymore

of what you left behind

I can’t bleed anymore of whats left of me

and its me who’s leaving

you this time

Okay everyone, brace yourselves for this one.  Yesterday Patrick and I went to the mall on our day off.  You would think the trip to the mall to buy clothes would be an ordinary trip right, well wrong!  Here is what happened:

For starters, we went to catch the lightrail to go to the mall and we were crossing the street and this asshole in this Grand Am tried to run me over.  Alright guys look this law applies to EVERY STATE!  PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!  If you do not know this you are a fucking retard, if you refuse to believe it you need to have someone in a semi truck run over your agressive driving ass.

As we are sitting at the platform waiting on the train and we had been sitting there for about maybe 3 to 5 minutes when this train comes passing us by at least doing 60-80 mph and was out of service.  Personally the train was going a lil fast but it was out of service it could have slowed down going through the station but it didn’t.  So this guy gets on his phone and starts bitching about this train for 10 to 20 minutes (mind you he was still bitching about it when he got on the train)  okay look I have no problem with the fact that he was bitching but dude say your peice and be done with it because he was really annoying.  All he did was whine (yes he had that nasal tone too, and it was bad).

We got off the train (and away from Mr. Whiner) and before we went into the mall we stopped off at another place that Pat works at and ran into some thieves that were trying to steal.  So the pharmacist shut the back doors so they could not go out that way and the guy called her a fucking bitch.  Um okay hello?  You are stealing thier merchandise!  I do not know why you are bitching because you walked in there with the intentions on getting something and not paying for it.  You SHOULD have been locked up!  You got lucky they told you and your tramp to never come back there again.  Stupid idiot!  I got an idea, how about you, MR. WHINER and the guy who likes to run over pedestrians go play in oncoming traffic!  Who knows maybe your tramp can join in and make it a foursome?!?!?!

So on our way back towards the mall we stopped at starbucks hoping to get a bathroom break and some coffee.  When we walked in we noticed the line was a lil long.  So Pat waited in line and I went to the bathroom.  Well for starters the bathroom was hard as hell to find.  When I walked in it was disgusting.  No wonder Starbucks is going bankrupt and they need the assistance of McDonalds to help thier revenue, they can’t even take care of thier bathrooms!  So I am using the bathroom and then this rude ass bastard decides he wants to walk in on me.  UMMM no I don’t think so!  He tried opening the door and he noticed it was locked.  When he tried opening the door I said loudly someone is in here!  So then he starts knocking on the door.  I yelled again “someone is in here”  Then the lil bastard decides to fuck with the light switches (because they were not in the bathroom, how ghetto is that?)  And I yelled “excuse me!  SOMEONE IS IN HERE CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND A WORD OF FUCKING ENGLISH!?!, ”  and then he said oh i am sorry.  So I finished up and then I walked out and he said “Oh I am so sorry I had my headphones on so I couldn’t hear you.”  Ummmm okay buddy I don’t know if you realize this but you sound like a fucking retard right now!  I mean wait a second you are trying to use the bathroom and you noticed that the door is locked.  Did you EVER THINK to TAKE OUT YOUR GODDAMN HEADPHONES BEFORE BEING RUDE?  Why don’t you do us all a favor and join that foursome of people playing in traffic?!?!?! Congratulations asshole!  You just created an orgy of traffic players! 

So we go into the mall and go into JC Penney’s so I can get Pat some new clothes.  He goes and tries on a couple pairs of pants and when he comes out to show me how they fit him he gets in front of the mirror and started singing I’m too sexy (the bridge where he is talking about being a model) and I was on the phone with my mother when he did that.  We both found it completely priceless!  We bought what we needed to buy and then around nine that evening this lady comes on the PA system and she was saying something but you couldn’t understand her because she was mumbling.  Now if you guys know me well enough one thing I can’t stand is people who mumble because you can’t understand what they are saying, they waste your time because you are trying to hear what they have to say and its just plain annoying.  If it wasn’t enough that she mumbled once she got back on a few minutes later and started it again!  WTF?!?!?!  Lady go play in traffic with the orgy because you will never learn honey, okay?

So we left the mall after we left Penneys because it was getting late and the mall was closing, and we get back on the light rail to go home.  Before the train came there were idiots who were walking in the tracks when the train was approaching.  (Uh hello?  if you are this dumb, you might as well have FUCKING RETARD tattoed on your forehead because the world needs reminded that your stupidity can not be helped.)  Honestly they should have been run over by the train driver, it would have saved the world from about 10 more stupid people than we need right now.

Because the train was crowded Pat and I didn’t sit together.  Pat stood and let me sit down.  Pat got stuck standing next to a couple of lesbians.  Now everyone, before you get on the defensive about how do you know and you can’t say they were and what do you have against lesbians, lets just get things cleared up okay.  They were lesbians because thier bodylanguage showed it, especially how they were holding each other.  I can say they were because they were acting that way and if you are going to act as such at least have the common courtesy to do it outside the public eye or at least in a gay bar.  And also for the record, I have NO issues with lesbians because of the plain facts that they are keeping it between them, they are not asking me to join in and also they are just leaveing more fish back in the sea for women like me (and also i am not saying I am looking either i am happy with my relationship thank you.)  The funny thing about these lesbians btw is the fact that the both were unattractive and it made Pat cringe because they were just that nasty.  I had to turn my head away from Pat a couple of times to not show my laughter.  And as soon as a seat opened up next to me he ran from them. loll it was so funny watching him cringe.  At least this proves one thing:  He won’t be so apt about threesomes after dealing with that, jk. 

Needless to say this trip to the mall was an adventure to say the least we got bombarded with fucking morons who obviously do not use thier brains!  They either do not know how to use common sense or they are so stupid that they never had it.  What can I say though thats what I get for moving to New Jersey.




Before you go any further in reading this blog entry, I ask that you look over the links I inserted above.  Look at it thouroughly and think about it for a few minutes before you continue.  I promise it all will make sense.  I feel by putting this definition of this topic from a neutral, general standpoint I will not have a radicalist from the NAACP on my ass for being disrespectful.  I also want to say this before I continue.  I am not a racist, I accept people for who they are on the inside, not the color of thier skin, thier sexuality, thier gender, their religious beliefs, ect.  I am very open minded about people and thier decisions as I expect others to be of mine.  Now…. onto the show!

When I was in grade school and high school, we learned about history and behaviours of people during from the start of history to present day.  Over the years I have noticed that over time, the word racism or any type of discrimination is used whenever someone feels like they have had an unfair shot at life by someone based upon thier own beliefs, skin color or sexual preference.  For Example:  The Jim Crow laws were laws that prohibited african americans to have privaleges therefore they discriminated african americans and made our government look rascist.   Okay this is a plain fact of history, am I correct?  They were discriminated by the government just like women, native american indians, and anyone with a minority. 

However in the new day and age you can’t go anywhere without someone complaining that they have been discriminated against.  For example:  If you use the racial terms “Negro or Nigger”  you are automatically called a racist.  Now if you are of african american descent, you can use that term guilt free.  But if you are caucasian and you use that term your ass will get beat to the point you are almost left for dead. 

Now I am not saying its fair to use language like that towards someone because its not very nice.  However in the americana society people feel that it is within thier right to still act discriminatory to others without hesitation.  The sad thing is that nowadays its white people that are being treated like shit although they are the rascist folk?  Its like everyone wants a handout from the white guy but when the white guy wants his handout, fuck him he doesn’t deserve it?  I believe its time for another history lesson kiddies.

The United States of America was formed during the late 1700’s when the people of the British colonies felt they were discriminated against due to the fact that they lived in colonial america.  The Declaration of Independence was written to King George basically telling him that the colonies were sick of his shit and they were no longer to be considered as the American Colonies of Britain. 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  (Preamble of the Declaration of independence)

Before we go any further I want you to think about the quote and relish it in your mind for a minute.  All men are created equal.  As we warp back to present day think to yourself for a second are we all really equal? 


Of course we are not equal!  Referring back to my last example:  If a white person calls an african american the word “Negro”  or “Nigger”  they are ensured an assbeating.  However, white people are supposed to be okay with african americans calling them “White”  “Snow” or “cracker”?  I understand that the african american population had a tough break in the past however that does not constitute them treating others as inferior.  The government took care of the wrongs by abolishing Jim Crow laws and making strict laws about hate crimes.  And even if you think about it for a second the word “Nigger”  means idiot.  Because nowadays people can take words out of context and make them what they want to make them that is why the legal courts have thier fucking hands full with lawsuits and people are always in court.

My next example of the difference in discrimination is employment.  Lets brake down our government for example.  The presidential cabinet members for example when they were selected by the president, they had to fit a certain profile.  They had to have the right qualifications to do the job (and to be honest I do not know how the fuck they determine that I still think we are still dealing with the spoils system to this day), you had to be accepted by not only the president but congress as well, and if you were a minority (that means any person other than caucasian)  you would get the job.  The reason why I bring up the last part is because of the fact that CNN kept repeating the whole time what thier race was as if it were a big fucking deal that they were a minority.  Now let me ask you this lets say you are white and you are more qualified for the job than the minority, do you think you would get the job?  No.  It would still be handed to the minority.  It is very self evident all you have to do is look at a job application and you will see on every standard job application it asks for race.  Coincidence?  I think not!

Then there is also my personal favorite.  Pop Culture.  For example:  African americans have thier own special channels like BET (otherwise known as Black Entertainment Television),  You have HBO, Cinemax, Showtime that give them thier own channel in thier lineup specifically for the african american population.  Now if we put out a channel called WET (like white entertainment television)  they would call us racist and being discriminatory and then the NAACP would be involved because we are not giving them a fair break.  There is also Black History Month (that would be known as February).  Now I understand the whole idea of black history month.  However what I do not understand is the fact if caucasian people tried to get a White history month or a White appreciation month, we would be looked at like we are discriminating other races.  

I feel that the ideals that America lives in are very out of touch.  One race can not discriminate the other but its okay for the other race to discriminate them?  America was founded for the sake of being equal.  We are no more equal then we were fighting the British.  The sad thing is no one nowadays even cares or attempts to see it that way.  When is this madness ever going to end?

Cricket’s Advisory:  Reading this blog will possibly make you think twice about how this world has come to be.  This blog is not for those whom would call themselves extremists where they heavily believe in only one right answer.  It is also not for those whom think they are always right.  While reading this blog you may experience laughter at the sadistic part of life, maybe some anger, hell you may even say this chick is on to something.  As it has been said before by someone I am not sure of…. “Everyone has a right to thier own opinion.”  Well the best way to explain it is…. this is mine.


Let me be the first to say that I am not one of those people that have been able to make a successful grand entrance on things in life and you shouldn’t expect me to.  I know for a fact that I am not known to people as “Miss Grace”  or “Miss America”.  Hell, I wouldn’t even think to call myself that.  I guess you can say that I am the type of person they would call “outspoken”  or “one that speaks thier mind”.  Personally I see it as I call it as I see it.  I am not perfect and I know I will never be.  However, I feel that my opinion is one where people will think “hmmm I never thought of it in that perspective”  or “okay she does have a point.” 

I am not going to say welcome to my blog or thanks for visiting, although I probably should. I feel the word “welcome” is overrated.  My thoughts on that is if you want to visit then you will visit.  If you want to return after what you have read, then I guess you will return to read more.  I like comments, I like to hear what people think, however I will be blunt when I say this and that is I do not depend on your comments to keep this blog going.  I see this more of a place where I can put my two cents in on anything I want.  If you want me to write about something with my opinion by all means ask I will do what I can but don’t expect it to be what your opinion is.  My blog + any topic = my opinion.  If I criticize you about your comments and it offends you the only thing I can say is I’m sorry I offended you just see this blog as my way of having some sort of voice in this world.